I have a lot to share and say about shame. Shame is such a powerful emotion, one that can dictate our behavior, our perception of self, our relationships, and our entire life. Why do we feel shame? Why do we shame ourselves? How can we begin to acknowledge shame? How do we reject shame and start loving ourselves instead?

I feel compelled to speak on this topic in this particular time and space because it is coming up for me. I am starting something new. It’s exciting, empowering and it really does feel so aligned with what I’m up to, who I am, who I’m becoming and what I value. My intention is to show up, to be me and to share my heart. In doing so, I am empowering myself, I am embracing myself, I’m uncovering my own creative process, I’m fostering connection, I’m acknowledging deeper parts of myself that deserve to be acknowledged, I’m healing.

And it’s scary. It’s hard to be vulnerable, especially in this way. I am putting my words, my thoughts, my heart out there for anyone who wishes to read it. As much as I’m creating space for all these wonderful things to exist, I’m also creating space for feedback and criticism. None of which I have actually gotten, but the fear is there. The only feedback I have gotten has been supportive, loving, encouraging and I have felt so loved. So thank you, community.

In order to live my life aligned with my values, to embody me, to lead with love, I also must create space for the fear. The self doubt. The self criticism. The shame. Now that I have written a few posts and a few more people have access to my thoughts, I have felt the fear creep in. I have doubted myself, criticized my writing, and have found myself placing my self worth in the hands of you all. If you like my posts, if you express positivity, if you subscribe, then I am doing good. Right? Then I am worthy of this space.

No. Living in a place of fear does not feel good, for any of us. I am a very sensitive person who feels things very deeply. This is not always fun. And I have learned to embrace this part of me. I honor this part of me. I am grateful for this part of me. It allows me to evaluate what is coming up for me quickly. As quickly as self doubt creeps in, my desire for acceptance comes. As quickly as I want to place my worth in others, I know I am the one in charge of my worthiness. As quickly as I feel fear, I hold myself in love.

So how do we acknowledge shame? I think we attune to ourselves. Shame and fear often come together. If we find ourselves fearful, doubting ourselves, questioning ourselves, I think we can pause and recognize we are acting from a place of fear, which often means we are shaming ourselves on a deeper level. How do we move passed shame? We create space for it. We acknowledge it. We offer ourselves compassion and understanding around why the shame exists in the first place. We can choose to do it differently. We can remind ourselves of our intentions, our values, our desire to show up aligned, we can love ourselves.

My intention in sharing this, is to acknowledge my own shame, to create space for it and to let go of it. My intention is to move towards love, to welcome joy. This space, the ability to show up as me, is joy. It is love. I also hope to provoke additional thought and reflection around the ways shame and fear show up in your life. Do you find yourself afraid? Doubting yourself? Criticizing yourself? It’s not serving you. Let that shit go. With love.

Be sweet to yourself,

Holly