As I’m typing these words, I am sitting crosslegged on my couch, my dogs peacefully sleeping next to me. It’s Tuesday, which in my world means I have the house to myself. On Tuesdays, I see clients remotely. Or what’s more true, is I don’t see any clients at all. Although I’ve had the intention of filling this day with remote clients and have had a few here and there, it’s been a slow process. Currently, I use this day as my reschedule day, my catch up day, finishing up notes and treatment plans day. My day to get organized, tackle the laundry, clean my house, and all the things I don’t have time to do otherwise. If I’ve learned anything as a therapist, it’s that clients come and go, busy comes and goes. There are natural lulls in my caseload and I’ve taken full advantage of any time that seems to happen, knowing the busy, full caseload is coming again soon.

Anyway, I’m sitting here, in my peaceful house, admiring our newly decorated Christmas tree, reconnecting with myself, reflecting, and finding time for this creative outlet I’ve been neglecting for the past month. So here I am, back sharing the stuff of my life.

Over the weekend we cut our tree, my most favorite Christmas tradition. Our house was filled with Christmas joy as I watched my babies excitedly dance around to Jingle bells, carefully placing sweet ornaments on our lit tree. I took a deep breath, and energetically welcomed this season and all it brings. It’s Christmas Time!

What’s been on my heart this season, and in the last few weeks especially, is contentment. I’ve been holding space for what contentment really is, how does it feel to be content. Fully. Am I content? How do I find contentment in my life, just the way it is? How do I become content in my relationships, exactly as they are? And how do I balance that with my intention of moving towards joy. How do they co-exist? How do I find Joy IN contentment?

I think some of this started after Thanksgiving. We had a lovely, week long adventure in our new motorhome (a post about that will come at some point) and I came home feeling so full and grateful. I also became acutely aware of the shift from feelings of gratitude and connection, to the desire to consume. Black Friday came and the focus became what the best sale was. I began to practice self awareness around my own conditioning, my own tendency to consume, the way we can place so much value in the “stuff.” Not the metaphorical, joyful stuff this blog is named after, but the material stuff, that really stands no chance against the real stuff of life.

I found myself scrolling the internet, searching for Christmas decor inspiration. Cottage Christmas. Farmhouse Christmas. Traditional Christmas. I kept seeing all these pre lit store bought trees, perfectly curated front porches with wreaths, Christmas bathroom decor ideas, cozy Christmas blankets and throws, and I was about it. Because I love Christmas. In my mind I was going to create all of these scenes. I wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t. Then I stopped. I remembered my desire to explore contentment, acknowledging that this is the exact opposite of contentment. It’s consumerism, it’s the belief that I will be happy if my house looks perfect, if I buy the trending internet decor items. It’s all wrong. I check myself and regain solid ground, remembering what my values are, what it’s really all about.

Since then, I have held contentment in mind. I have moved towards joy. Finding joy in contentment. Yes, decorating my home brings me joy AND I already have so many sweet ornaments we’ve thoughtfully collected or hand made over the years. And really the decor items I love most, that bring me the most joy, are the ones that don’t cost much, but allow for connection and time together. I love going out with my family, trekking through the snow, on the hunt for the perfect tree. I love the smell of Douglas fir and cedar. I love placing our sweet ornaments, remembering where it came from and the season of life we were in at the time. I love foraging for pinecones and fresh cedar for garland made with little hands. I don’t need all the things. Because the magic lies in the experiences and the memories we’re making together. And as I sit in my sweetly decorated home, I am content.

I will thoughtfully pick out a few new ornaments, knowing they will spark joy year after year. I will do an advent calendar, filling it with activities and books that my kids can’t wait to check each morning. I will buy presents for those I love. I give myself permission to do Christmas. I think we all should. I’m a big supporter of doing what feels good, what brings you joy. And I also think it’s important to be mindful of overconsumption, because there’s no joy to be found there, there’s the illusion of joy, and the risk of getting stuck in the cycle of discontent.

What started as two separate concepts, joy and contentment, quickly became the same. I fell into the illusion that I was sacrificing joy by practicing contentment. Because I was still stuck in the thinking that consumption is joy, especially as we entered the holiday season. As I welcome more contentment, practicing gratitude for what I do have, rather than focusing on what I don’t, I realize that joy is in contentment. Joy is in simplicity, in connection, in experiences. And I can choose joy this holiday season.

As always, be sweet to yourself & Happy Holidays!